adventures-in-poor-planning:

adventures-in-poor-planning:

“oh homeless people are just gonna use your money to buy drugs” and? and?? the government uses my tax money to buy bombs and cops, you think I care if someone in a shitty situation uses money I gave them to feel marginally less shitty? fuck off!

frm The Onion’s bit on myths and facts about homelessness:

gaygalaxys:

retroactivebakeries:

saltyseafuck:

Thinking about it, I’m pretty sure my ancestors would be horrified with me.

Not because I’m lazy or unworthy or anything like that…

…but because one of my distant uncles was among the eight survivors of the Essex, the ship that inspired the ending of Moby Dick and sank after being rammed by a whale, and what do I fuckin do after my bloodline has this Ordeal at Sea?

I get a fuckin degree in Marine Science and go back the fuck out there.

#op its your job to kill that whale

revolutionarytea:

propalitet:

fathers casually dropping the craziest lore of their lives in the middle of a conversation

My brother and I trying to piece together our dad’s life based on random info he casually brings up once and then never mentions again

joyfriend-dick:

ayeforscotland:

Condom machines off for the royal period of mourning💔💔💔

ardri-na-bpiteog:

Double Income No Kids used to be seen as a kind of lavish lifestyle, now it’s like…a requirement to have any remote chance at financial stability

dontkillbirds:

peanut-caravan:

protip: if u can’t imagine urself dropping the mic after the final sentence of ur essay, ur conclusion needs to be stronger

SHIT THOUGH THIS IS REALLY GOOD ADVICE?

swirlypinkswirl:

svvordvviz:

officiallordvetinari:

kvothe-kingkiller:

alexseanchai:

steelblaidd:

backyardbob01:

otterology:

thatsoneforamerica:

ssskeletonsoffun:

themistrustfulmistress:

brainstatic:

Jurassic World did the Avatar thing where it made a gajillion dollars and left no cultural footprint whatsoever. Name your favorite Jurassic World character. What was your favorite line. It evaporated despite everyone seeing it.

WRONG fav character was the extra that ran away from the pterodactyls with two margheritas in hand

Originally posted by relatablepicturesofaleks

Gotta do everything myself around here

So, I went into this guy’s Wikipedia page, because he looked familiar. And there’s this big “Controversies” section, so I was preparing myself to read that even the margaritas/pterodactyls guy has sexually assaulted someone. But it turns out that he hasn’t. However, he:

- Has been sued for copyright infringement for a ‘blasphemous’ musical rendition of a monologue from the 1950s

- He was on a plane with U2′s Bono and his family, and the plane was shot by the Jamaican police, who believed they were smuggling marijuana. He wrote a song about the incident.

- He’s actually a singer, and his better known song in called MARGARITAVILLE. He also owns the Margaritaville Cafe restaurant chain. And has licensed Margaritaville Tequila, Margaritaville Footwear, and a Margaritaville Foods. He owns the Margaritaville Casino, has released a “Margaritaville Online” game, and he wrote and starred in a musical called “Escape to Margaritaville”

- He also wrote a song called “Math Suks”, which was condemned by the US National Council of Teachers of Mathematics for its alleged negative effect on children’s education. 

- He was thrown out of a basketball game he was watching for using blasphemous language in front of kids.

- And he was detained by French customs for allegedly carrying over 100 pills of ecstasy. Although he was released after paying a fine, and, according to him, the pills were a B-vitamin supplement.

So, yeah, that was refreshing controversies section-wise, but now I don’t know what to do with all that information.

Maybe its my age, but i’m a little concerned that the fact he is a singer and wrote Margaritaville wasn’t prior knowledge and is considered a controversy

☝️

Beach, booze, Buffett.

Jimmy Buffett plays the margarita guy in Jurassic World because his most famous song is “Margaritaville” and this is therefore hilarious, I thought

absolutely obsessed with jimmy buffett being called “this guy”

Love the suggestion that the song and brand Margarativille are mentioned in passing on the Wikipedia page for uncredited Jurassic World extra Jimmy Buffett

reading the first half of the comments like

My thoughts exactly!